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ACT官网偷偷换了参考范文,你造吗?

来源:互联网 作者:麦格教育 编辑:麦格教育
标签:美国留学 留学指南

摘要

在备考ACT的小伙伴可否知道,ACT官网悄悄更换了一篇范文。范文的作用是什么,当然是供我们研究参考作文的高分的规律。五月初,ACT官网将原始的6分(满分)作文更换为一篇全新的文章,但是,作文题目《In…

在备考ACT的小伙伴可否知道,ACT官网悄悄更换了一篇范文。范文的作用是什么,当然是供我们研究参考作文的高分的规律。五月初,ACT官网将原始的6分(满分)作文更换为一篇全新的文章,但是,作文题目《Intelligent Machine》以及1-5分的范文都保持原状。接下来我们需要研究一下ACT官网为何更换满分范文,以及新的范文与旧版范文的区别。

 

先来看看,ACT官网新版满分范文及解析:

 

Advances in technology have become so widely accepted in today’s culture that very few people are willing to pause to consider the consequences. People get so excited about what new technologies can offer that they forget to question whether there might be any negative effects. Without caution and deliberation, replacing the natural with the mechanical would undoubtedly be disastrous.

 

The economic implications of the potential mechanical takeover alone should be enough to dissuade anyone from moving too fast. In the event the robots are more widely used in the workplace, humans would surely be replaced. At first, businesses would benefit from the efficiency of robots, but eventually a depressed job market would lead to a population that struggles just to feed themselves and their families, let alone purchase the products these robots make. In the long run, society will suffer if it does not take care to prevent the economic consequences of giving everything over to machines. Our careless use of automation has already taken a toll on our culture. People have been interacting with automation in nearly every aspect of their lives, whether it be shopping, banking, or the use of a telephone. The effect of this is obvious: basic respect for our fellow man is all but absent today because of increased interaction with automation. Why treat a machine with kindness? It suffers no emotional or psychological damage. In a culture saturated with automation, we get used to treating machines rudely, and we begin to treat each other rudely. This of course leads to all sorts of issues,like intolerence and incivility, and in the long run, results in the complete degradation of culture.

 

Even in the face of these obstacles, some people argue that the increasing intelligence of today’s machines is a good thing. After all, machine power can decrease the human work load. Computer processers double in power and ability every year. Computers are projected to reach human intelligence by as soon as 2025. The implications of this shift are unknown, but one thing is for certain. We are moving into this change too fast to anticipate and prevent damage to the human species. We are approaching this change too quickly for any sort of safety net to be built. Because of this, it is important that we as a species slow down our technological development so that we might consider all the implications of a change this big. We must figure out how to handle negative societal and cultural consequences before we embrace total integration of automated, intelligent machines.

 

Decreasing the speed with which we incorporate mechanical influence is important because of the potential dangers that lurk in blind acceptance. Not only does the preference ofthe mechanical over the natural interfere with the job market and the economy, but its use also has the potential to seriously degrade our culture as a whole. In combination with the uncertainty surrounding the increasing intelligence of machines, it is most assuredly better for the human species that technological progress be slowed so that we can, if necessary, prevent additional damage.

 

Score Explanation - Score 6

 

Ideas and Analysis = 6

 

 

By framing the issue as a matter of reckless technological abandon, the writer establishes an insightful context for analysis of the issue and its perspectives. This context informs a nuanced, precise thesis: Though we are inclined to welcome technological advancement with open arms, “the potential dangers that lurk in blind acceptance” necessitatecaution and deliberation” as we determine how to make use of intelligent machines. In advancing this thesis, the writer examines the economic and cultural implications of moving too quickly into the age of automation. In doing so, the writer has generated an argument that critically engages with multiple perspectives on this issue.

 

Development and Support = 6

 

 

An integrated line of reasoning and illustration effectively conveys the argument’s significance by exploring the economic and cultural implications of the mindless incorporation of intelligent machines. Hypothetical examples (In the event the robots are more widely used in the workplace) and skillful reasoning (The implications of this shift are unknown, but one thing is for certain. We are moving into this

change too fast to anticipate and prevent damage to the human species) develop and support the thesis by drawing out and making persuasive its meaning and importance. The final body paragraph complicates the argument by conceding both the benefits of machine power and the unprecedented sophistication of modern technologies, using these concessions to reinforce the call for moderation and deliberation—as we reach new technological heights, it is even more important that we“figure out how to handle” potential unintended consequences.

 

Organization = 6

 

 

As with its development and support, a persistent focus on exploring the thesis benefits the organization of this response. This skillful strategy is driven by its controlling idea, which shapes the argument as it progresses logically from a discussion of future economic implications to a treatment of present-day cultural conditions to an examination of opposing viewpoints. Effective transitions between paragraphs reflect this organizing principle (The economic implications of the potential mechanical takeover; Our careless use of automation has already taken a toll on our culture; Even in the face of these obstacles, some people argue that the increasing intelligence of today’s machines is a good thing), while transitions within paragraphs serve to clarify and strengthen the writer’s reasoning (At first, but eventually, This of course, After all). All told, this strategy increases the effectiveness of the argument.

 

Language Use = 6

 

 

Precise vocabulary (societal and cultural consequences, intolerence and incivility, emotional or psychological damage) and a variety of clear sentence structures reflect advanced skill in the use of language. So too does the prose itself, which is largely free of errors. Of particular note are the writer’s strategic stylistic choices. Words like degrade, depressed, and damagework to establish a sense of alarm or dread, which underscores the writer’s call for consideration of the potential consequences she perceives. In the final body paragraph, the writer uses repetitive sentence constructions (We are, We are, We must) as the argument moves into its call for action. These rhetorical flourishes work to clarify the thesis and make persuasive its implications, thus enhancing the argument.

 

再来看看ACT官网旧版满分范文:

 

As technology improves, and

more and more tasks are completed by machines instead of humans, the question is no longer about what we can do with machines, but rather what we should. Although the usage of machines increases efficiency and our standard of living, it detracts from the value of human life.

 

 

As machines increasingly perform all our basic tasks, society is able to produce more. The additional production adds material value to our society and frees people up from these low-skill tasks. This is in agreement with Perspective Two which claims that this industrialization leads to more prosperity. For example, in the 18th century, short-staple cotton that was grown in the Southern United States required an immense amount of labor in order to seperate the seeds from the fiber to process the cotton to make it marketable. However, in the mid-19th century, Eli Whitney, an American entrepreneur, invented the cotton gin,which allowed for automation of cotton processing. This machine replaced the need of a large work force for the process and greatly improved production. As a result of the cotton gin, short-staple cotton production skyrocketed, increasing by more than 10 times in the South while bringing prosperity to the region and setting in motion a new industrial era in America. This is in agreement with Perspective Three, which says that mechanization allows for “unimagined possibilities”.Although there are clearly many advantages to industrialization, there are also some heavy drawbacks.

 

The replacement of humans by machines leads to the loss of value to human life, an effect that outweighs the material gains of automation. The search to find human tasks that can be performed by machines inevitably leads to comparisons between the human and the machine. If a company executive wants to see if a inventory management team can be replaced by a robotic system, he will compare the two and determine which can do a better job. When this occurs, the people on the team are evaluated not for their worth as human beings, but for their effectiveness at performing a specific function—in essence, as we would evaluate a machine. In a larger sense,when we begin to think about humans in this way, the worth of a person’s life becomes dependent on only what they can do and no longer has any intrinsic value. As Perspective One states, we begin to lose our humanity. This new mindset and way of evaluating people, though seemingly harmless in the workplace, is devastating when it begins to

pervade a society. If a person is judged only on his or her capability,there is no reason for a person to remain after they have served their function. This would warrant genocide against the elderly and the disabled because their burden on society would not be made up for by any production. Although the machines may seem to only fulfill the low skill jobs at the moment, there is no barrier to prevent the machines from replacing more. As the machines increase in intelligence, they will replace any tasks done by humans and render us unnecessary and worthless.

 

Due to the risks of dehumanization, the material benefits of machines are not enough to justify its increasing presence.

 

Scoring Explanation

 

Ideas and Analysis = 6

 

 

The writer generates an argument that engages critically with multiple perspectives. A nuanced, precise thesis—efficiency afforded by intelligent machines is ultimately detrimental to a society and to the human race more generally—propels the argument. In analyzing the issue

and its perspectives, the argument employs a number of insightful contexts, juxtaposing the historical against the contemporary and framing a number of ethical and abstract tensions (prosperity and efficiency devalue human life; material benefits carry intangible costs). Against these conceptual backdrops, the writer examines the positive and negative effects of the increasing presence of intelligent

machines, along with the implications and complexities of the given perspectives.

 

Development and Support = 6

 

The example of the cotton gin is simple yet effective at illustrating the writer’s concession that machines have indeed contributed to the greater financial good. Elsewhere, development is oriented toward reasoning rather than driven by example. The second body paragraph uses the concept of genocide, rather than a specific example of it, to refine and support the idea that comparisons between human and machine, even in the name of prosperity, reduce and devalue human qualities and pose a great danger to society. As the argument pushes forward, critical contexts broaden—the tension is heightened when we must weigh the established benefits of mechanization, as seen through history, against

the risks of a future dominated by machines—and allow for deeper insight. All told, this integrated line of reasoning and illustration effectively conveys the meaning and import of the argument.

 

Organization = 6

 

 

This response is unified by a clear purpose. The logic of the argument is immediately apparent—this writer’s strategy is based on a framework of juxtaposition, one that sets out and explores two competing values in tension. This straightforward strategy allows for a logical progression of ideas, which is realized due in part to effective transitions that

lead the reader to the writer’s conclusions. Examples, explanations, and references to the given perspectives are skillfully interwoven,allowing for the argument to advance even as its scope expands.

 

Language Use = 6

 

 

Conveying nuanced ideas, marshalling evidence for those ideas,establishing logical relationships—all these skills rely on the use of language. In this response, use of language is superior. Effective diction works in concert with varied syntax to relay complex notions with clarity. The writer establishes a formal, academic voice tone that is occasionally manipulated to persuasive effect—as the writer discusses the perceived dehumanizing effects of machines, her language conveys an

increasing sense of alarm (devastating, render us unnecessary and worthless). In all, the command over language on display in this response enhances the argument and earns the highest possible score in this domain.

 

其实,分析之后,可以清晰看到新的范文有下面的特点:

 

1、更符合评分标准。

 

ACT写作自20159月改革起,将评分标准细化为四项,即:Idea and Analysis; Development and Support; OrganizationLanguage Use,来全面衡量学生的写作水平。而在这每一项中,有3-5小点的要求来帮助考官客观的评判学生的文章。

 

官网对满分写作的完整评述如下:

 

Score 6:

 

Responses at this scorepoint demonstrate effective skill in writing an argumentative essay.

 

Ideas and Analysis

 

The writer generates an argument that critically engages with multiple perspectives on the given issue. The argument’s thesis reflects nuance and precision in thought and purpose. The argument establishes and employs an insightful context for analysis of the issue and its perspectives. The analysis examines implications, complexities and tensions, and/or underlying values and assumptions.

 

Development and Support

 

Development of ideas and support for claims deepen insight and broaden context. An integrated line of skillful reasoning and illustration effectively conveys the significance of the argument. Qualifications and complications enrich and bolster ideas and analysis.

 

Organization

 

The response exhibits a skillful organizational strategy. The response is unified by a controlling idea or purpose, and a logical progression of ideas increases the effectiveness of the writer’s argument. Transitions between and within paragraphs strengthen the relationships among ideas.

 

Language Use

 

The use of language enhances the argument. Word choice is skillful and precise. Sentence structures are consistently varied and clear. Stylistic and register choices, including voice and tone, are strategic and effective. While a few minor errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics may be present, they do not impede understanding.

 

相比于旧的满分范文,新的文章涵盖到评分标准的每个小点,这使得考生可以更加清晰的理解文章的要求,并且也增加了ACT在分析范文上的专业性。

 

2、中规中矩、而水平一般。

 

虽然新的范文更好的满足了ACT作文的评分标准,但从文章的整体性和专业性看都比旧的范文逊色不少。在实战中这样的文章能得到36分的可能性是值得怀疑的。因此,对于写作的这个改变,希望同学们不要降低自己的备考要求。踏实备考,不断完善自己的文章才是提升作文分数的重点。

 

3、避免了对备考的潜在指向性。

 

在旧的范文中,我们不难看出一些备考的指向性,如论据的学术性等。但在新的范文中,ACT有意避开这些指向性,而是从更宏观的方向对文章进行探讨,并且更多的强调论证的全面性和深入性。对于不善于在论证上突出的中国考生来说,这无疑是一个挑战。

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